These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in
1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.
3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
6. Its best for employers that I not work with people.
7. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.
8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
9. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
10. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
11. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No
13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to
respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and
16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training
in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
21. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have
never quit a job.
22. Marital status: often. Children: various.
23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get
to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those
24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous
25. Finished eighth in my class of ten.
26. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
Odd things people have included in their resumes
1. Candidate included that he spent summers on his family's yacht in
2. Candidate attached a letter from her mother.
3. Candidate used pale blue paper with teddy bears around the
4. Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because
he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.
5. Candidate specified that his availability was limited because
Friday, Saturday and Sunday was "drinkin' time."
6. Candidate included a picture of herself in a cheerleading
7. Candidate drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope
and said it was the hiring manager's gift.
8. Candidate's hobbies included sitting on the levee at night
9. Candidate included the fact that her sister once won a strawberry
10. Candidate explained that he works well nude.
11. Candidate explained an arrest by stating, "We stole a pig, but it
was a really small pig."
12. Candidate included family medical history.Back to Emails