Oscar up the Gog

                    www. Jawapro .com
                    A Seriously Froody Website








The Worst Part of War.


       Captain Kyle Brown and Lieutenant Eric “Riggs” Rogers were on a training flight with four other F-16’s one fine day in March. They were both extremely good pilots, and with 39 years of flying between them, they were also the most experienced pilots on the base. They had both served their country on several war and peacekeeping missions, and were once again preparing for battle.


          Their country, the United States of Seabrook, had been an ally with the Republic of Geneva for a long time. So when the Republic of Geneva received information that a universally feared terrorist group, the A.C.A., or Association of Communist Activities, had mobilized troops against them, their first move was to alert the U.S. of Seabrook.


The A.C.A. was an organization that reeked havoc on all countries with a Christian government. Bible reading in public schools, national days of prayer, and the public proclamation of the goodness of God were all things that their evil leader, who went by the name of Lucaso Stottoi, could not stand. Although no one actually knew Lucaso’s real name, he struck fear into the hearts of all his enemies.


          General Isaac Stinger was the first informed by Admiral Carins, who had received the call from Geneva, and he was also the first to recommend to Admiral Carins, that they should support their closest ally and friends as best they could.

“Admiral, Ma’am, we need to ready the troops for battle!”

“General, I…”

“Prepare the Air Force for combat!”

“Really, we mustn’t get carried away with…”

“Place the Navy on alert! Alert the Special Forces that they may be called for service! Do you think we need to start recruiting?”

“I hardly think…”

“Maybe we should alert national defense…”

“General, when you’ve quite…”

“And we really should call out the nuclear warheads, just in case.”

“I doubt that will be…”

“ We need to make every possible arrangement. We mustn’t allow the A.C.A. to come anywhere near Geneva!”

“General, will you quit…”

“ And maybe we should…”

“GENERAL! Will you quit interrupting me?!”

“Yes, Ma’am, sorry Ma’am.” said Stinger quickly.

“Thank you. We need to discuss this with our intelligence officers. Then we will decide what action is best with our leading strategist. Until then, you have the go ahead to begin training missions with our current forces. You will not, however, recruit a single person unless I tell you differently. Am I being understood?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Good. Dismissed.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

And with that, after tripping over the rubbish bin, General Isaac Stinger left Admiral Carins’ office.

          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

          Commander James Bruiser received orders to initiate a training flight to see who the most reliable and the most competent pilots were in his crew.

When asked if he thought his pilots could handle the rigorous training, he answered typically with one of his most commonly used replies.

“She’ll be right.”

He made the preparations overnight and his men, along with their personalized F-16’s, began take-off at 7:00 a.m. They were well and truly on their way by 7:15, and were approaching their targets by 7:30.


          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       

          Commander Julie King was enjoying a relaxing cup of coffee when she received orders from the General to ready her ground platoons for combat.

“That’d be right,” she grumbled. “All work and no play. I’m tellin’ ya’, I wish I’d never joined this organization. If it weren’t for the long service leave comin’ up, I’d have left long ago. I hear there’ll be some good retirement packages next year…” and she kept rambling on all the way to her office.

Like Bruiser, she also worked overnight to prepare a training course for the battalions to work with. She was quietly confident that her men and women could adequately show their readiness for combat, but that confidence was about to be tested. 


          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       

          Captain Kyle and Lieutenant Riggs found themselves on the same squadron, as always. They were to fly into the Valley of Ircula, where they were to locate and destroy an unmanned missile launcher, which had been planted by order of Admiral Carins. They were then to continue through the valley until they came to Eagon Bay, where they would find an abandoned destroyer. They were to lock onto the destroyer with their missiles, but were ordered not to fire, because it was to be used for the ground troops in training.


          However, when they got to the valley, they ran into some trouble. There were children playing on the missile launcher that the squadron was supposed to destroy. Captain Kyle was the highest-ranking officer in his squadron, so he had to make a decision quick smart.

“This is Knight One. Knights, hold your fire. I repeat, Knights, hold your fire.”

“ What’s the story, Capt’n?” Riggs was about to fire when Kyle gave the order. “I had it all lined up nice.”

“Are you blind? There’s kids down there!”

“Oh yeah… I hadn’t noticed them.”

“You mean you got a lock on the launcher without even seeing the kids? Man, you really should have your eyes checked. Knights, circle overhead.”

“You watch what you say about my eyes, bucko!”

“Listen, Riggs, this isn’t our bunk back at base, you know. Out here, I am your superior officer.”

“Okay, I’ll take that as a warning, then, shall I, Sir?”

“You better lose that lip, too, soldier. Command, this is Knight One. Command, Knight One. We have a problem with one of the targets and are unable to deploy. Do you copy.”

“Knight One, this is Commander Bruiser. What’s the problem?”

“He is!” Riggs cut in.

“Riggs! Shut up!”

“I repeat, Knight One, this is the Commander. Do you copy?”

“Command, this is Knight One. Sorry about that, Sir, I had a problem with my headset.”

“What seems to be the problem, Knight One?”

“There’s a bunch of kids playing on the…uh… oh no! Who fired that missile?”

“Knight One, What’s happening up there?”

“Riggs, Did you see who fired that missile?”

“Negative, Capt’n.”

“Who fired that flaming missile?!”

“Knight One, this is the Commander. What the heck’s going on?”

“Command, this is Knight One. A missile has been deployed, and it has destroyed the launcher… along with half a dozen children playing on it.”

“Bugg…uh…I mean…good grief!!”

“Knight One, this is Knight Three. I’m picking up some sort of craft on radar.”

“Knight One, this is Knight Five. I have confirmation for that last report, Sir.”

“Command, this is Knight One. We have discovered an unidentified craft of some sort. We are assuming that he is the one who fired that missile.”

“Knight One, this is Bruiser. What exactly are you saying?”

“Hold on a second, Sir. Knights, what do we do? I’m all for chasing this guy down and finding out what his game is. Riggs?”

“I’m with you, there, Capt’n.”

“Knights Three, Four, Five and Six, what do you say?”

“Knight 3, let’s go.”

“Knight 4, I’m all for it.”

“Knight 5, yeah, me too.”

There was a moments pause.

“Knight 6?”

“Sir, I’m all for blowin’ that so-and-so out of the sky!”

“Command, Knight One. Requesting permission to investigate.”

“Knight One, this is Command. I can’t authorize this course of action. The order has to come from the Admiral.”

“Look, give us permission, or we’ll go anyway.”

“Knight One, you are out of line. You know that I have to clear this with the Admiral.”

“We’re running out of time. He’s getting away!”

“Knight One, I cannot give clearance without…”

“Commander, this is Knight Two. Why don’t you take that headset and jam it right up your…”


“Capt’n, you can sit here and argue with that bonehead all day if you want. I’m going after that guy.”

“HEY!!” Commander Bruiser was not happy.

“Command, this is Knight One. We’re going anyway. Tell the Admiral to expect our resignations. Knight One out.”

“Knight One, this is Command. I strongly recommend that you reconsider.”

“Okay… done. I’m still going.”

“You are way out of line, all of you. I’m not gonna lose my job because you lot are too pig headed to listen to me. Complete the mission, and get your fat rears back here! That’s an ORDER!!”

“We are completing the mission. It’s just that now we have a moving target.”

“Knight One, this is Command…”

“Can it, Commander. We’re going anyway. Let’s move Riggs. Knights out.”

And with that, they stopped circling over what was the unmanned missile launcher and began pursuing the unknown bandit.


          It was a fair while before they got within shooting range of the intruder, and even then, Captain Kyle ordered them to hold.

“I want to know who he is and where he’s from.”

“Allrighty, Capt’n, let’s have some fun!” Riggs started some fancy flying while he sang the theme song from the Road Runner cartoons.

“Road Runner,… Cyotee’s after you,… Road Runner,… if he catches you you’re through,…”

“Riggs, what are you doing? Remember, he’s armed.”

“She’ll be right, mate. Besides, I haven’t done this for years. It’ll be good to get the practice.”

“You know, sometimes I think that guy has got kangaroos loose in the top paddock.” When Kyle said this he tapped his temple for emphasis, even though he was the only one who could see.

They flew behind the intruder, steadily pulling him in, and eventually were able to make out some numbers on the plane’s side. Kyle, who had been straining his eyes since the intruder came into view, was the first to see the flag painted on the side of the tail.

“Good Heavens! It’s a T.C.A. F-111!” (T.C.A. =Terrorists and Criminals Association)

Riggs stopped his frilly flying and quit singing the Road Runner song.

“Oh, sugar,” he said.

“Bit nervous over there, are we Riggs?”       

“No, I just realized that I forgot sugar when I went shopping yesterday. I knew I forgot something, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.”

“Honestly, Riggs, sometimes I worry about you.”

“Why, thanks, Capt’n!”

“Right, Knights break formation! Let’s see if we can take this dropkick back to base for questioning.”

Knights 3 and 4 broke to the left, Knights 5 and 6 broke to the right, and Kyle and Riggs decreased their altitude a touch.

“Let’s take that sucker by surprise, shall we Riggs?”

“We shall indeed, Capt’n!”

They flew on for a few minutes, gradually closing on the F-111, When there was an unwelcome call over the radio. It was Knight 3, and he sounded urgent.

“Knight 1, from Knight 3, do you read?”

“What’s the problem, Knight 3?”

“We’ve got two F-111’s on our six, sir. Blast!! They’ve locked on us, Sir!”

“Evasive maneuvers! All Knights, evasive maneuvers!”


And with that, Knight 3 was blown out of the sky like a duck in hunting season.

“Command, this is Knight 1. Command, Knight 1. We are under attack! I repeat. We are under attack!”

“Knight 1, this is Command. I told you not to go! Now you won’t even get back to give the Admiral your resignation! Bugg… I mean…Good Grief!!!”

“I’ll be back in a minnie, Capt’n!”

With that, Riggs was gone.

“Hey! Just where the heck does he think he’s going?”

“Knight 1, this is Knight 4. Should we fall back?”

“No, you’ll be an easier target. Try to shake him over this way and I’ll have a go at him.”

“Knight 1, this is Knight 6. We have 3 more F-111’s on radar behind that mountain. I dare say that’s where Riggs got to.”

“Knight 1, this is Knight 4. Having a little trouble shaking him, Sir.”

“Knight 4, this is Knight 2. I’m coming up on your 3.”

“Riggs! Where’d you get to?” Kyle was relieved that Riggs was back to help Knight 4.

“I thought I saw a supermarket back there. It was just a mini-store. I was going to drop in and get some sugar. But that’s not important.”

“Knight 2, this is Knight 4. What do you want me to do?”

“Bay-turn left and drop fast. I’ll take him from there.”

“Are you sure, Riggs? I mean, remember what happened last time you tried this?”

“Ready, Knight 4? Not yet… almost… nearly… NOW!!!”

Knight 4 did as Riggs told him to. He turned left really suddenly and dropped 50 feet immediately.

“Knight 2, Fox 3.” (“Fox 3” was the code for firing a missile.) 

Nothing happened.

“Riggs! He’s turning on you!”

“The missile’s jammed!”

At this point, Kyle bay-turned and locked on himself.

“He’s locking onto me!” cried Riggs.

“Knight 1, Fox 3!”

Kyle fired, and sent the F-111to the ground in a burning fury.

“What’s with this cheap F-16 junk?!” Riggs was fuming. “Talk about dejavous!! Thanks for your help there, Capt’n!”

“Ah, don’t mention it. It’s all part of the service. Here at Kyle’s Guided Tours, we like to insure against all kinds of…”

“This is Knight 5. I hate to interrupt, fellas, but there are still two enemy aircraft trying to kill us. What do we do? I’ve got an F-111 on my 9, telling me to surrender, or they will destroy me. What do I do? I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”

“This is Knight 1. What’s your name Knight 5?”

“Daniel Whitworth, Sir, why?”

“Daniel, this is Riggs. It was nice knowing you.”

“Riggs! Don’t mind him, Daniel. You keep flying. Ignore the enemy, and wait for an opportunity to mulch him. Leave the rest to us.”

“Knight 5, this is Knight 6. I’m coming up on your 6. I should have a clear shot in a few seconds. Make sure you get out of the way when I say.”

“Too right I will!!”

“Take your time, Knight 6. Don’t rush it,” warned Kyle.

“Knight 5, move!”

Daniel dove and turned. The F-111 attempted to follow, but Knight 6 was too quick for him.

“Knight 6, Fox 3!”

His bird was away, and dead on target. The F-111 pilot had no chance, and before he knew it, he was ash.

“Top shooting, Knight 6! What’s your name?”

“My name is Andrew Vallen Jr. Pleased to meet you guys. What do we do about the rest of these idiots?”

“I dunno, Andrew. Look, that jerk we were following is going to join the other 3. We’ve taken out 2 of them, but lost one of our own. What do you reckon, Riggs?” 

“Yeah, I’d say that’s a pretty accurate analysis of the situation, Capt’n!”

“No, I mean what do you think we ought to do?”

“That’s a bit of a dumb question, isn’t it, Sir? You should know me well enough to know what I would do.”

“Yeah… I know… You’d go to all-out nuclear war! That’s what you’d do!”

“Got it in one, Capt’n!”

“Sir, this is Daniel. The only reason they took down one of our birds is because we weren’t expecting the other two blighters to show up. We know these other 3 are there, now, and I think we’d be cowards if we didn’t take up the challenge.”

“I’m with you, there, Daniel.” said Andrew. “These guys attacked us on our own soil. If we let them get away, then they’ll think that they can do it again. And I don’t like the idea of half a dozen cocky T.C.A. pilots killing innocent Seebrookans simply because they want to.”

“So what are you saying, guys? You want to blow the lot of them up?”

“YEP!!!” Riggs was adamant.

“No, Sir. Riggs may want to, but we want to dispose of the other three and escort this, ahem, stranger, back to base and have him pay the price for what he’s done. After all, there’s five of us, and only four of them.”

“Here, here. Well said, Andrew. I was just about to make the suggestion myself.” said Daniel, “Let’s have this loser jailed for life!!”

“Okay, boys. If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do. Knights, return to formation. Let’s teach these murderers a lesson that they’ll never forget!”

“YES, SIR!!!” came the united reply.

          While Commander James Bruiser was having trouble with one of his squadrons, Commander Julie King was also having some trouble with one of her battalions. It seemed that the destroyer in Eagon Bay had attracted international interest, as well. The destroyer was missing.


“Commander King, this is Field Officer Steven Van Sing. We have a slight complication down here, ma’am. The destroyer’s not here.”

“Field Officer, this is Commander King. Could you repeat that last statement?”

“The destroyer is gone, ma’am. It’s not here.”

“Of course it’s there. Where else would it be? It has to be there. Take another look.”

“But ma’am, it’s not…”

“In case you didn’t realize it, Van Sing, that was a direct order. You must comply, or I’ll have you court marshaled.”

Field Officer Van Sing let out a low grumble and mumbled under his breath something about how Commander King would order him to cut a pineapple from a pear tree if she had the chance.


“Nope, it’s still not here, ma’am. What do we do?”


“Yes, Ma’am! Right away, Ma’am!”

What the flip’s going on out there? thought the Commander. She had heard about the planes, and now she had run into the same sort of dilemma. Things were not looking good.

          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       

            “Admiral on deck!”

Immediately, all personnel dropped what they were doing, including the computer technicians who were upgrading the computers in the building       ( three monitors were smashed, and five keyboards fell down the stairs.), and stood to attention.

“As you were,” said Admiral Carins, rolling her eyes. “General, are you sure he said 9:00?”

“Positive, ma’am. The greatest strategist that ever lived said he would meet us on level 2 of the Royal Computer Art Gallery at 9:00 sharp.” General Stinger had a habit of forgetting minor details, like a.m. or p.m., and this was a classic example.

“You’re sure he said 9:00 tonight though, aren’t you.”


“I knew it! Once again you’ve shown us all just how incompetent you really are! I don’t know how you made it to General in the first place!”

“Uh, excuse me, ma’am…” asked a stranger, tapping her on the shoulder.

“What do you want?! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of yelling at someone?!”

“Uh, well, you see, it’s like this…I’m Robert Kourner, ma’am, and I have been waiting here for 12 hours to discuss the recent turn of events with Admiral Carins. I assume you are Admiral Carins?”

“Why, yes. What gave me away? Was it my commanding stature? Or maybe my authorative composure? The unmatchable, and undeniable mind you, sense of POWER that surrounds me?”

“Your visitor’s name-tag, ma’am.”

“Oh…right.” she glanced down at it accusingly. “Well, now we’re here, let’s talk.”

The Admiral and the strategist Robert talked for hours on the best course of action based on their most recent information from their intelligence officers. All General Stinger managed to do was interrupt.

“What if we…”

“SHUT UP!!!!”

          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       

          Navy Fleet Commander Alison Bane was ordered to patrol the sea border with all 5 fleets under her command in the hopes of finding the missing destroyer. She was startled by a radio transmission that made her expect the worst.

“Commander Bane, this is First Officer Davina Davis. We, uh, we’ve got, uh…”

“Come on… out with it!”

“You know that missing destroyer reported by Field Officer Van Sing,”

“Yes, yes,”

“Well, I think we’re picking it up on radar, ma’am. It’s about a kilometer out of the bay to the east. And it’s armed.”


“I said we’re…”

“I know what you said! I’ll be there in 2 minutes!”

Sure enough, the case of the missing destroyer was now solved. It had been manned overnight, armed overnight, and fueled overnight. In fact, it seemed as if the thieves knew exactly when and where to find it. And to Commander Bane, that seemed to be a bit too much to simply be a stroke of luck.


          On her way down up to the bridge, she called Commander King on her mobile (she always carried it with her).

“King? This is Bane… Yeah, pretty good. How’s things your end?… That’s good. Listen, I’ve got information regarding that missing destroyer of yours… Yeah, just showed up out of nowhere. It’s about a kilometer out of the bay to the east… Uh huh… Yes, yes, I understand how upset you are about the incompetence of your team, I have the same problem, but remember that they couldn’t see very far to the east because the sun was over there… Well, if the sun’s there, it affects your vision. Haven’t you ever driven directly into the sun?… Well, there you go. Anyway, we’re going to give chase to that floating wreck before it sinks… No, even if it is the A.C.A., I doubt that old clunker would make it past the Geneva Border. You know how far away that border is… Yeah, there’s a lot of water in 5000 kilometers… Righto, I’ll see you on Monday… Yep, Home Group’s still on. Gotta go… Bye!”

With that, Commander Bane hung up. She walked into the bridge, literally.

“I thought I said not to lock this door?!”

Davis rushed over and opened the door.

“Sorry ma’am. We weren’t sure what was going on, so we took precautions. You did want us to chase that destroyer, didn’t you…”

“Yes. Are we?”
“Yes, ma’am. Time to interception, 15 minutes.”

“Really? Is it moving that slowly?”

“Actually, ma’am, it’s not moving at all.”



“I heard you! You don’t have to repeat yourself all the time, Davis!”


“And don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to you!!”

Davis sighed. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. Call me when you have visual.”

“But we already have visual. See that gray blob on the water over there, ma’am?”


“Well, that’s them.”

“Sitting a little low in the water, aren’t they?”

“Now that you mention it, ma’am, it does look a little low. Why do you reckon that is?”

“Really, must I think of everything around here? It’s obvious that wreck is taking on water! Captain,”

“Yes, ma’am” the captain wheeled around to face his commanding officer.

“Can’t this ship go any faster?”

“I’m afraid not, ma’am.”

“Pity. I want prisoners.”

“Well, the waters around here are pretty warm, ma’am. They should be right until we can get to them.”

“All the same, lower the chase boat and get a load for me. I have questions, and they have answers.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Is that wise, Ma’am?” Davis didn’t like the way things were panning out.

“Of course it’s wise. Why the heck wouldn’t it be?”

“Oh, no reason Ma’am, just the minor fact that THEY ARE ARMED!”

“There’s no need to take on that tone of voice, Davis!”

“No, Ma’am. Of course not, Ma’am.”

“Seeing as you’re so concerned about it, you can go with them, just to make sure my officers are okay.”

“Uh…” Davis didn’t like the sound of that.

“Let me know when they get here, Captain.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Commander Bane turned, and walked straight into the door, again.


          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       

          Special Armed Forces had been ordered to await further instructions. The number one crew of the entire Special Forces branch was the C.C.A., the Conclusion of Criminal Activity. And the head of this crew was S.A.F.  Commander Alan Greene. He had trained these men and women from recruitment, and he was pleased with the results he was seeing. Only last month, his team had successfully infiltrated a known serial bomber’s organization, and the killer was quickly brought to justice. But this was far more serious than a petty bomber.


          On his crew of specially trained individuals (because they can’t work together) was Technical Adviser Peter “Floppy” Gray, Risk Assessor Stephen “Cra-Z” Gawood, Negotiator Whitney “Lucky” Jackson, Weapons Technician Samantha “Trigger” Smith, Communications Expert Rod “Static” Bower, Intelligence Officer Kellie “Wats-dis-do” Banonn, and Information Accumulator Amanda “Snuff” Stellar. The group’s nickname was, fittingly, “the Impossibles.” These guys knew their stuff, and they were ready to get cracking.

“Right-o, people! Are we…” Commander Greene never got the chance to finish his sentence, for at that moment, Smith started screaming her head off at Banonn.


“What are you talking about? It’s perfectly safe.”

“You’d say that about a grenade with the pin missing!! That gun’s loaded, and knowing you, someone’s bound to get hurt if you pick it up.”

“Might I remind you that it wasn’t me who put those three guys in hospital. What was it you said? Something like ‘This landmine won’t hurt us. I deactivated it myself!’ One of those poor fellows has no feet, for crying out loud!!”

“Hey, at least I didn’t send one battalion east, one west, and one north when they were supposed to be going south!”

“Well at least I didn’t…”

“ENOUGH!!!” Commander Greene had run out of patience.

“You’re supposed to be the best Special Forces crew around. I’ve trained you as well as I can. You have all learned more about your positions than anyone else in this entire facility. But there is still one thing that you don’t seem to be able to understand. Maybe it’s too complicated for you. Maybe you do understand, but don’t want to put it to practice. For the 165,843rd time, and counting, if you cannot get along with your teammates here, how will you be able to trust them in a tight situation? If you get into a spot of bother on the battlefield, or in a special assignment, who’ll back you up if you won’t back anyone else up? Do you understand?”


“Prove it.”


“I want you all to be ready to embark in a flash if need be. Do I make myself clear?”


With that, he left them to get themselves together.



          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       

In his private quarters, Commander Greene knelt by his bed, praying.

“Lord, give me patience to work with that lot. Help me to shape them to be more like You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.” He rose, feeling much better than he had, and he went to pick up his diary, when he received a call on his mobile (he always carried his as well).

“Hello?…Uh, yes, Admiral, Ma’am, I am free to talk…Well, what sort of mission did you have in mind?… Yes, Ma’am, the C.C.A. are on stand-by… Tonight? Isn’t that a little… No, Ma’am, I wasn’t arguing, I… Yes, Ma’am, I’m sure they could handle… Yes, Ma’am. I’ll let them know… Goodbye, Ma’am.” he hung up.


          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       


Several hours later, back at her office, Admiral Carins had received some new information…

“Ma’am! Ma’am!” Stinger came screaming out of his office. “Have you heard?”


“Isn’t it great?”

“Yes it is. I have been praying for some time that Lucaso Stottoi would have a change of heart. He’s been saved for over 3 weeks now.”

“He’s WHAT?!”

“You mean you didn’t know?”

“No, Ma’am! Wow!”
“Then why did you come into my office so excited?” Admiral Carins was confused.

“I jus heard that they put Sardine Sandwiches back on the menu in the mess hall! Isn’t that fantastic?!”

Admiral Carins wrinkled her nose. “Yeah… great.” was all she could say.

“Hey,” said Stinger suddenly, “If Stottoi is a Christian, then why would he have mobilized troops against...”

“He didn’t.”

“Was it one of his cohorts? A sidekick? A dropkick?” he chuckled at his own joke. Admiral Carins just put her head in her hands. “Give me strength…” she muttered.

“Maybe he had an apprentice…” Stinger was still going on.

“General, there were no A.C.A. troops mobilized against Geneva. It was all a put-on by the T.C.A. to make us stop bombing them, and that’s all.”

“Oh… but that doesn’t explain how one of our birds was shot down this morning.”

“One of our planes has been shot down?!” asked Admiral Carins incredulously.

“Yeah, that too. I was talking about that poacher that shot a pelican this morning. How do you explain that?”

“One thing I can’t explain is why I made you General in the first place. Tell me about the plane that was shot down this morning.”

Stinger told her all about it, right down to Riggs verbally abusing Commander Bruiser.

“He said WHAT?!!!”

          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       

          Captain Kyle and his squadron, minus the one who had been shot down, continued to chase the intruder aircraft. The F 111 had joined up with the other three, and they were preparing to engage in battle when another of Commander James Bruiser’s flight teams came to help Kyle’s mob out.

“Knight 1, this is Captain William Samuels. How y’all doin’?”

“Will! Great to see you! Boy are you a sight for sore eyes! How’d you find out about us?”

“Admiral Carins thought you might need some assistance. So Bruiser got on the blower to find your position, and here we are. And I must say, we never looked better.”

“That’s debatable.” cut in Riggs.

“You mean the Admiral knows about us?” Kyle was trembling.

“Not only does she know about you, she supports you.”

“But where were you when we got sent out here?”

“My squadron and I were sent on an extensive raid on the T.C.A. headquarters. They wanted us out, so they ‘leaked information’ to the Republic of Geneva that the A.C.A. had moved against them.”

“We know that much, you idiot!” Daniel was never any good with any sort of repetition.

“Show some respect, soldier!” Kyle was red as a beet.

“Well, he’s right.” put in Riggs.

“Did you also know that Lucaso Stottoi has been a Christian for 3 weeks?”

“WHAT?!” every one of Kyle’s men was dumbfounded.

“You mean to say,’ said Andrew dryly, “that we’ve been out here wetting our pants for nothing?!”

“And,” said Daniel in disgust, “a good man has lost his life for no reason?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” said Will, “He lost his life in the line of duty. Who was he, anyway?”

“We don’t know yet, Will. But we are about to avenge his death, and that of those kids.”

“What kids? Never mind, we’ll sort this out later. My guys are ready to rumble if yours are.”

“You bet mine are, Will!”

“Then let’s do this.”

The two squadrons split and went around both sides of the mountain.


          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

          Davis was half way between the sinking destroyer and their own aircraft carrier. She was not happy.

“Why should I be out here looking after this bunch of loosers? I’m going to have some serious words with Commander Bane when I get back on board, don’t you worry.” She knew for a fact that she didn’t have the stomach to confront a superior officer, but just saying that she would made her feel a lot better. Pretty soon, they came up to the first survivor.

“Freeze! Don’t move!” Davis barked as she pointed her submachine gun at the person floundering around in the water.

“Don’t shoot! Please don’t shoot!”



“Mum, what are you doing out here?!”
“I’m waiting for my daughter to pull me out of the water before I drown.”

As it turned out, Davis’ mother, Trish, had moved the ship because it was blocking her view of the bay. An old, retired war veteran who had captained the very same destroyer 40 years before, in the Battle for Polystyrene Coffee Cups, had assisted her.

“You might have told the navy, Mum!”

“I’m sorry, dear, but I thought that you’d all be so busy with all the other things that you have to do. I obviously wasn’t thinking.”

“Obviously.” Davis was spitting chips. “Just wait until the Admiral hears about this!”

Davis put down her gun and ordered that the other bloke be found. They found him sitting in the only part of the ship still above the water… the bathroom.

“What are you doing in here?” demanded Davis.

“Well, the captain always goes down with his ship.” he said slowly, “It was taking a while, and my bladder isn’t what it used to be…”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Davis cut in. Things just kept getting better. First she gets sent as the only armed soldier into a potentially dangerous situation. Then she finds her mother guilty of the theft of a navy vessel. Now she is confined to a 15-foot rubber chase boat with a senior citizen and his weak bladder. What a wonderful day!

“And I can’t wait to see what Commander Bane says about this.” she mumbled to herself. Her mother was saying something about how this proves once again that a ship is no place for a woman.    


          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Field Officer Stephen Van Sing had heard that the destroyer had been located. He and his battalion had been walking along the beach when they were confronted by a group of T.C.A. soldiers. Unfortunately for the T.C.A. guys, Van Sing’s boys and girls had guns, but they only had knives. Van Sing had them handcuffed, and was on his way back to the truck when one of them said something unusual.

“You had better for to let us go,” the man said with a thick accent. It was obvious that English wasn’t his natural tongue.

“Why? I only just met you, and I’m looking forward to chatting with you in the interview room real soon.”

“Let us go, or I have you…er…how do you say…er…destroyed. I have bomb in backpack. I will explode it.”

“I doubt that,” said Van Sing, “but we better have a look anyway.”

“The only thing in here is a water bottle, Sir.”

Just then, the foreigner put his hand down the back of his pants.

“GET RID OF IT!!!” screamed Van Sing. The officer obeyed. He threw the water bottle as hard as he could. It landed in the army’s purpose-built, all-terrain truck.

“NOOOOOO!!!!” all of Van Sing’s men dove for cover. The foreigner pulled his hand out of his pants and said, “Silly is me. Me left detonator at home.”

Van Sing was furious. He stood up and thumped the foreigner in the face, twice.

“If you try anything like that again, I’ll deck you!!!”

Just then, the truck exploded. Everyone dove for cover.

“Oh, I remember!” said the foreigner after the dust had settled; “I give detonator to you Andre.”

“Ya. And I use it.”

“Why you little…”WHACK! Van Sing clobbered him, too.

Sergeant Daniel Henderson walked up behind Van Sing.

“Sir, I…” he never got to finish, because Van Sing wheeled around… and CLUNK! Broke Henderson’s jaw.


          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

 “SAF Commander Greene, if you are in the compound, we have an urgent message for you. I repeat. Commander Greene, if you are still in the compound, we urgently need to talk to you.”

Commander Greene was still in the SAF compound, but only because his crew could not agree about a single thing. They argued about everything, from weapons selection, to the seating arrangements in their bus. They were supposed to have left half an hour before the announcement, but Stellar refused point blank to sit next to Gawood. 

“I’m not sitting next to that creep! He’s a nut!”

“You’ll do as you’re told, young lady.” growled Commander Greene.

“Fine. Absolutely. I don’t have a problem with that, so long as you don’t tell me to sit next to that jerk!”


“She’s absolutely right, sir.” commented Gawood, “I don’t want to sit next to her, either.”

“Gawood and Stellar! You are both out of order and should be punished. However, seeing as we are 30 minutes late already, I haven’t the time to…”

This was when the message was conveyed over the loudspeaker.

“I’ll be back in a minute. Bower, swap places with Gawood.”                     

“Yes, Sir.” 

“WHAT?!!!” Stellar was fuming. “Anyone but him!!!”


Commander Greene entered the administration office.

“OK people, what’s this urgent message?”

“Well, sir, we don’t know. Admiral Carins is on the phone. She wouldn’t hang up until we could tell her for sure that you weren’t here.”

Greene picked up the phone.

“Hello?… Yes, Ma’am, we were just leaving… He what?… Oh, well that’s good news… Yes, Ma’am, I’ve been praying for Stottoi for a while, too… So the mission is off then?… Right… Yes, Ma’am, I’ll let them know… Good bye, Ma’am.”

He hung up and headed out to the loading bay where the rest of the crew was waiting.

“Will you please get off my parachute…” said Peter Gray to Stephan Gawood.

“But it’s not your parachute. It’s mine!”

“Yours?! I’ll show you what’s yours!”

“All right, hot-shot! Bring it on!”

“I’m gonna hit you so hard your great grandfather is gonna get dizzy!”

“Come on, then, wildcard! I’ll show you what’s what around here!”

The two of them began pushing each other around.

“Don’t call ME a wildcard, you prehistoric FREAK!” yelled Gray, giving Gawood a shove that sent him sprawling.

Gawood recovered his feet in a flash.

“The only thing prehistoric around here are your computer skills, Gray!” he punched Gray in the mouth.

Gray fell back against the bus.

“That’s it, Gawood. That is it! Now you’re gonna DIE!!!”

“No one’s gonna die around here!” came a voice from behind them.

Gray and Gawood wheeled around to see their commander standing with his arms and eyebrows crossed. He was not happy.

Gray let out a low moan, and all Gawood said was “Oh…nuts!”

“You boys are in big trouble.” said Commander Greene. “But we’ll deal with that later. Right now I want you all to go to the debriefing room. Dismissed.”

“But what about the mission?” asked Jackson.

“I said DISMISSED!” boomed Greene.

“YES, SIR!!” came the united reply.

          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       

“We have visual.” said Kyle as they rounded the mountain.

“We certainly do.” said Riggs. “That Visual Basic stuff that Mr. Duff taught us way back in school has really helped a lot in designing…”

“RIGGS! I wasn’t talking about that! I meant that we can see the enemy aircraft.

“Oh… right… that. Yes, uh… I mean… affirmative. We’ve got visual all right. Copy that Capt’n! Reading you loud and clear.”

“Is he always like this?” asked William.

“Yeah, most of the time. Sometimes he’s worse.”


“I heard that!” said Riggs.

“Okay, Knight 1, this is Eagle 1. We have visual also.”

“How come they get to be eagles and we’re only knights?” asked Riggs.

“Copy that, Eagle 1, let’s get ready to party!”

“Don’t forget” said Riggs, “We have to take that one on the far left back with us.”

“Right you are, Riggs. He’s a marked man. As for the rest of them, it’s every man for himself. Breaking Formation! Moving in!”

“Knight 4 on your six, Knight 1.”

“Eagle 5 on your 3, Knight 1.”

“Knight 5 on your 9, Knight 1.”

All the Knights and Eagles went to battle stations, but there was always someone looking out for someone else.

“Riggs, is your missile still jammed?”
“Yeah, but it’s just that one, Capt’n.”

“That could present a problem. You’d better fall back until we’ve finished.”

“Oh, what?!!”

“I’m sorry Riggs, but it’s just not safe for you up front. Eagle 1 will take your place.”

“But Capt’n, I want to be where the action is! And if it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t be here in the first place!”

“Gee…thanks, Riggs. I just don’t know haw to express my gratitude.” said Kyle sarcastically.


“No, Riggs. Stay back. And that’s an order!”

“Yes Sir.” grumbled Riggs.

But Riggs didn’t have to worry about missing out on the action, because the action was going to come to him.

He had been keeping a watchful eye on Kyle’s plane. So closely had he been watching, it in fact, that an enemy plane had snuck behind his own plane without him noticing it. One minute, he was watching Kyle’s tail. The next minute, all he could here was William screaming, “RIGGS!! He’s on your tail!! Shake him!!”

Riggs dove to the left. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the enemy plane dive after him.

“He’ll need help!” yelled Kyle. He couldn’t go, he was busy fending off an F-111 himself. “Someone give him a hand!”

“Eagle 2, I’m on it.” with that, Eagle 2 dove away to help Riggs.

Riggs was having the time of his life.

“Come and get me!!” he screamed at the enemy plane. The enemy pilot fired a missile. Riggs dove into a valley, and the missile hit a tree and exploded.

“Come on!! Try aiming next time!!” scoffed Riggs looking back. He looked to the front and saw a waterfall right in front of him. “WOAH!!!” He pulled up and narrowly missed an overhanging rock. “HA!! I’m unbeatable today!!” he shouted. The enemy pilot fired again. Riggs dove back out of the valley. The missile hit a rock and turned it into dust.

“OH, YEAH!!!” Riggs was hysterical. And there is little wonder why. His enemy had only one missile left, having fired 2 at Riggs already, and using one before hand, missing his target, again.

“Come on, idiot! Try and make this one count!” Riggs felt invincible. He bay-turned and found himself facing his opponent. The gap between them was closing fast. The enemy pilot fired his last missile without bothering to lock onto Riggs’ plane (he was very impatient). Riggs dove to the right at the last minute and skillfully avoided the missile. The missile hit some rocks and Riggs’ plane was sprayed with loose particles. These particles bounced around the jammed missile, and knocked the obstruction, a tree branch (Riggs was a low flyer), loose.

“HEY!!! I’m armed!! All right you sorry looking defenseless, senseless, brainless, toothless, toeless, uh… thingamajig… I’m gonna blow you from here to kingdom come!!” He fired… and missed.

“DOPE!! Alright… this time I got ya!” He locked on, and just as he went to fire, the enemy plane exploded.

“HEY!! What’s going on here?!!” He screamed incredulously.

“Riggs, this is Eagle 2. Kyle said you might need some help. I couldn’t help but notice your situation, so I eliminated the enemy.”


“No need to thank me, Riggs. I was jus doing my job.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I won’t thank you. But I’ll kill Kyle!!”

“Huh?!” Eagle 2 was confused. “What do you mean?”

But Riggs was gone. Eagle 2 rejoined the others. By the time Riggs got back to the rest of the group, the enemy was eliminated, and they were escorting the original intruder back to their compound.

“Thanks for stopping by, Will. You and your boys were a great help.”

“You’re right, mate. It’s always a pleasure to destroy enemy aircraft with you!!”

The two captains laughed, and they all chatted merrily until they got back to the base.

“Command, this is Knight 1. Come in.”

“Knight 1, this is Command. We read you loud and clear.”

“We have the blighter that killed those kids. Requesting permission to land and interrogate him.”

“Knight 1, you know I can’t authorize this course of action without the Admiral’s go-ahead… What?… Oh!!”

There was a muffled voice from the other end. It was almost as if Commander Bruiser was talking with someone else.

“Yes Ma’am. Okay, Knight 1, you have permission to land on runway 3. Do you copy?”

“We read you loud and clear, Command.”

“And when you land, Admiral Carins would like to have a word with you all. Including the Navy and the Marines. Do you copy?”


“Oh, Crumbs.” mumbled Riggs.

“What’s up, Riggs? The Admiral got you nervous?”

“No, I’ve just got crumbs down my shirt from my lunch, that’s all.”

“But we didn’t have lunch before we left. Heck, we didn’t even have breakfast before we left.”

“I didn’t say it was today’s lunch.”


All the aircraft landed without any trouble from the enemy plane. He was arrested and taken to prison, pending court.

          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

“Commander Bane! You are needed on the bridge!”

“That’d be right. Can’t manage a thing without good old Commander Bane.” she muttered sarcastically to herself. “Nobody can handle anything around here like the Commander. ‘Commander Bane! We need you to help clean the toilets!!’ ‘Commander Bane, do this, we need you for that!’ It never stops!” She rounded the last corner and slammed into a door that had absentmindedly been left open. “AARRGGHH!! WHO LEFT THIS DOOR OPEN?!!” she screamed at the top of her voice. No one answered. (Would you?!) She slammed the door shut and walked onto the Bridge.

“What’s the problem now?!” she yelled.

“We are receiving the chase boat now, Ma’am. You said to call you when they got here.”

“Ah, yes.” Bane had calmed down considerably. “How many prisoners has Davis brought me? Ten? Twenty?”

“Uh… two.”

“WHAT?!!” The Commander’s temper had flared again. “Why only two?!”

“Well, there was only two on board the destroyer, Ma’am.”

“Two people armed an entire destroyer? That’s impossible! That’s absurd!”

“Actually, Ma’am, the ship wasn’t…”

“I know it wasn’t armed when we put it in the bay! Do you think I’m stupid?!”

“That’s not what I was saying Ma’am. They didn’t actually arm the ship. It was a… a malfunction… on our end.” He hung his head, embarrassed.

“A MALFUNCTION?!! I don’t put up with your incompetence so that you can feed me some story about a ...” she didn’t finish. Her phone rang. It was Admiral Carins.

“WHAT?!! Oh, hello, Ma’am… yes… really?… Uh, yes Ma’am, I’m bringing them on board for questioning right now… Yes, Ma’am, I’ll let you know what they say…Yes, Ma’am, I’m looking forward to hearing what they have to say, too… OK… Goodbye, Ma’am.” She hung up. “I’ll be in the interrogation room.” she said to the Captain. “Send Davis and the prisoners down as soon as they are on board.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”


Davis took her mother and the other bloke down to the interrogation room, as ordered. She knocked on the door and waited. And waited. And waited.

She knocked again. Still no reply. She gently opened the door. There, leaning against the wall, fast asleep, was Commander Bane. Davis muffled a giggle, and was about to walk out when Bane shouted in her sleep, “Prisoners!! I want prisoners!! NOW!!!”

“YES MA’AM!!” Davis didn’t realize that her Commander was still asleep. She rushed out, grabbed her mother and the war veteran, and rushed back into the room.

“Here they are, Ma’am!!” She yelled.

“Huh…what the… DAVIS!!! What do you think you’re doing?!! How dare you wake me up in my own quarter…” Bane looked around her. This wasn’t her quarters at all. This was the interrogation room.

“What am I doing in here?! WHAT’S GOING ON?!!!”

“MA'AM!! You requested that I meet you here with the prisoners!”

“WHAT?!!… Oh…yeah. Well, where are they? And WHAT ON EARTH IS YOUR MOTHER DOING HERE?!!!”

“Well, Ma’am, she’s the one who stole the boat.”

“She WHAT?!!”

“She stole the boat…”

“I know she stole the boat! Do you think I’m deaf?!”

“Well you definitely don’t have any trouble talking,” mumbled Davis.


“Nothing, Ma’am. What do I do with her? Lock her up?”

“No, we’ll talk with her later. Now that we know that our borders are safe, we can go back to port. See to it. I have to call the Admiral.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Davis didn’t move.

“Well, jump to it woman!! Chop-Chop!!”

“YES MA’AM!!” with that Davis was gone.

          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *       

So, Commander Alison Bane’s navy came back to port, and the crew of all her vessels joined James Bruiser’s air force to listen to the Admiral. Commander Alan Greene’s Special Armed Forces were on their way, and the only group not accounted for was one of Commander Julie King’s ground platoons, led by Field Officer Steven Van Sing.

          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

“Command, this is Field Officer Van Sing. Do you copy?”


“Command, this is Field Officer Steven Van Sing. Please Acknowledge.”

Still more static.

“OK, boys, I think it’s safe to say that we’ve lost radio contact with the base.”

“You see! I say it better for you to let us go. But you a bunch of cowboys so you don’t listen!”

“Shut up!!” Van Sing was getting fed up with this guy jabbering on and on and on… he just never stopped!
“I tell you that you are doing wrong. Now you die on dirt track with us!!”

“Don’t bet on it…” said Van Sing. He reached into his pocket… and pulled out a mobile phone.

“HA!!” he said defiantly, waving it under the foreigner’s nose. “HA HA!! At least I have the brains to have a back up plan!!” He turned the phone on. He dialed Commander King’s number. “ Watch and weep!!” he said as he pressed ‘send’. But, to his horror, just as he got the phone to his ear, it let out three beeps, and then died. The battery was flat!
“NOOOOO!!!!” Van Sing fell to the ground and began to kick and punch the dirt. “How could I have forgotten to charge this up last night?” He stood up and rushed to the foreigner. “You little…” He began to strangle the foreigner. As he did, Daniel Henderson walked up to him and handed him his beeper. Van Sing dropped the bloke and kissed Henderson. “Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!” he said as he sent a message to Commander King. Henderson couldn’t say anything. He had a broken jaw, remember?

Within 45 minutes, a helicopter had picked them up and they were headed for the base. However, even with all this holdup, they still made it to where everyone was assembled before Alan Greene’s SAF platoon. They never got anywhere on time.

          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

“Come on!! We’re gonna be late!!” moaned Jackson.

“What are you talking about?! We ARE late already!” snapped Bower.

“Stop complaining! We’re only five minutes away!!” said Bannon

“You said that 2 hours ago!” complained Stellar.

“Well, she’s right this time!” said Commander Greene.

“You said that 2 hours ago, too!!” said Smith.

Sure enough, though, they finally rounded the corner and arrived at the base. For anyone else, it would have been a fifteen-minute-trip. But Gawood had been driving, and, well, he didn’t know his way around very well. When he pulled out of the SAF compound, he had turned left instead of going right, and it just went downhill from there. But, alas, 2 hours and 5 minutes later, they finally arrived and Admiral Carins could finally talk with all of them together.

She told them how proud she was of their ability to handle the situation, and praised them for doing what they knew to be right in spite of the odds. She let them know how much she appreciated their efforts, and that they should all be commended for their outstanding work. “But most of all,” she said, “I know that if a time arises where you have to defend freedom and justice, you will not let your country down. Congratulations again on a successful mission and God bless you all. Dismissed!”






Back To Stories