Oscar up the Gog

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This is an email Kyle sent out to heaps of people publicising his story when it had only just been started - there are many changes from the final product

All hail!!

(This letters to everyone but written in 3rd person to all)

To Someone, who, although have somewhat awful tastes in music, are O.K people once you get over the initial shock of impact (?)

As promised, this is the letter you have been waiting for!

Yes, you are really about to find out exactly what happened when a bunch of baked beans decided to invade earth… … …

Firstly, a word on my next piece of work,

This story has no name, not much of a plot, and no hero worth mentioning (That’s because James is the hero, in a sick, twisted sort of way.

Here I will attempt to answer some of the questions you are no doubt itching to ask…

No, my role will not prominent. Although this would make for a totally enjoyable story, it is not my intention to make myself feel good by making my role natural. I will be playing a side-kick role, or perhaps as someone’s boyfriend or as someone’s older brother or some police officer.

No, the role of Matilda will not be linked with that of Andrew. I have decided to have mercy on Matilda, I don’t really know her and I don’t think she likes me cause of her last role, so I’ll be trying to give her a decent role. And no, she won’t be playing the dumb blonde role.

Andrews fate, however, is up to my imagination. Expect some totally weird role from him, maybe as a boyfriend to the dumb blonde who turns traitor after she dies, and is killed by Matilda, or maybe Matildas secret admirer, or maybe the cop who lets Matilda pass at a military crossing with out a passport because he thinks he’s got a chancer with her or something. Andrew has developed into someone I don’t think will eva get a good role, because of his attitude towards my story and because of the way he carried on about his role. Poor Andrew! (Grumble)

Yes, James will be the main character. We will, however, be playing the “James” stereotype, and even though James might have matured slightly, this will not be noticeable. Perhaps it will be stupidity that eventually gives James a happy ending, but if I make him use his brain at the climax I think he’ll die.
James wont be married to Matilda for her sake, is it within the realms of possibility that se might not like it? James will have to make do with Mel or Hannah or perhaps even Rachel.

The dumb blonde character was a toss up between Matilda, Rachel, Rebecca,
Lucy or even Amy. My policy of being nicer to Matilda rules her out, Rebecca has a role which needs intelligence. That left Amy, Lucy and Rachel. Amy already did have a role which needed a lack of intelligence, but I think Amy having some intelligence would help for her involvement in some plans and her … um … thing with Enrik. Rachel or Lucy. Hmm. Rachel is certainly blonde, and fits the role perfectly. James even volunteered her for it. However, I took this as him volunteering to be her boyfriend.
Lucy would also fit the role perfectly, because of an incident and convention I have not forgotten… … Anyway, She is sort of blonde (I think) and having her as a character would extend interest to St. Helens. Email me with suggestions, please, over who should get this honourable role.

Enrik, you might not want to read this, so scroll down to the next paragragh and keep reading! Enrik will have a role in which he will be involved in some certain evil things. Perhaps he could be the leader of the evil people. Later on, a so called romance involving him and a gurl, sorry Enrik, will happen. Whether this is Amy, Kathryn or even someone like Emma or Mel is inertly up to me. (Although suggestions and bribes are taken.)

Robert is going to be living life to the full, dude! The ULTIMATE chick magnet, Jo is going to have a role as well. (This is what you get for setting people up yourself, youfall in love.) - see Mission:Mars - JP

Willie is your typical Metal head who is obsessed with FORDS (God bless his soul) and, yes, you heard it, Westlife Music.

Amy is a sort of main character, this story will sort of get revenge for her fluky victory in the semi’s. Only Amy, Rebecca and a few others will understand the “Whistles and Horses” bit.

Aroha is gonna be a preacher or monk or Something.
Tahi is a hired thug.
Kahu will be a slave.

Justin’s role might involve Rachel, and also might involve Kelly or the like, although he aint gonna be no chick magnet. Jeramain might also end up a slave. Suggestions for “Justie”, please.

Kellys role will have something to to with Timmy or Justin. Also she will posses some characteristics somewhat like a blonde.

Suggestions on Robert Conrad will not be taken, sorry. If he isn’t the slave who keeps stuffing up he’ll be a monk.

Timmys role will be small but is sure to annoy him. It will ave to do with “Kelly”, “Whitney”, “Hannah” and “James”

The Woolfes have no involvment, unless of course Enrik begs really hard.

Shorty might not get much of a mention, but you can bet he’ll be in it, somewhere.

Much to James’s disappointment, no St. Helens chicks will get much of a role besides Lucy and Hannah. AND I WILL NOT have anything to do with Tegan. (I cant believe James didn’t tease me all day with it!) But James, if you want, I can stich you up with someone after your first gurlfriend kicks da bucket.

And now, the other Questions…

Where is it set?
In my view of the world, 30-60 years from now. Thw world will be pretty much screwed up itself (Sorry Enrik) and business will dominate the lifes of the rich, survival and food the mind of the poor, and trying to keep in the middle if you are in the middle. Population will have risen dramatically in the parts of the world that are habitable, and cities will be everywhere.
Because of the US-NATO vs CIS AsiaAfrican Alliance in 2011, half of Russia and Japan, as well as the whole west USA and Germany-France are inhospitable for man. The pop. Is about 6.5 billion, because nobody really lives in the US anymore, as well as Asia being all flooded thanks to a hole in the ozone layer.

What is the problem?
The world is becoming infested with more people like James. Oh No!

What is the REAL problem?
A group of crackheads think they can change matter into anti-matter, and are threatening to blow up the world. The only way to get out of this is to pay the group a lot of cash, which people don’t have, then they’ll transform you into anti-matter and take you to and anti-matter planet quite near to here.
The whole rich people will be saved, an all the poor people (5.5 billion) are gonna burn down ‘ere on earth. Now a bunch of people, inspired by James (?) are gonna kick arse and of course, save the world. Although they are only trying to save themselves they might end up saving the poor half of mankind. But there will be lots of characters who get mixed up in the story, and the baddies are a bunch of evil thugs hired out by Enrich Von Stahleinhutz, to protect his anti-matter empire from invaders and people like James.
You can’t make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenuous.

Sorry, didn’t have enough time to write the end of that other story.


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