Computers in Movies:
1. Word processors never display a cursor.
2. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
3. All monitors display inch-high letters.
4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some
such governmental institution, will have easy-to-understand graphical
5. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command
shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain
6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply
typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by
simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." (See "Fortress")
8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the
villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
9. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the
screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so
that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones
also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.
10. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just
underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a
puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you
11. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving
12. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world
before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
13. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function. (See "Demolition
Man" and countless others)
14. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be
accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems transmit data at a
speed of two gigabytes per second.
15. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the
control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
16. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file,
it also disappears from the screen. (e.g., "Clear and Present Danger")
17. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for
a password when you try to access it.
18. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by
any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all
19. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has
("Aliens"). However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons
20. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying
three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
21. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing
real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY Y-MP.
22. Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it
projects itself onto his/her face. (See "Alien," "2001")Back to Emails